Seriously. I ask myself this question all of the time. My life is literally like a reality TV show, and you truly cannot make this stuff up - even if you tried.
I would almost guarantee that if there actually were cameras following me around a la Ed TV style, I would surely be one of the highest rated, and longest running shows on television. The situations that I find myself in on an ongoing basis border on insanely ridiculous, to beyond drama filled, to so out there crazy that you would swear that the my day-to-day life is not actually a work of non-fiction.
Currently, my job has taken me to a part of Florida that is beyond out of my element. The people are uber conservative, right wing nut jobs, and for someone who leans a more to the left (predominantly on social issues) it is slightly more than odd to be here. On more than one occasion, I have been told - so as to try and fit in a little better - to "gay it down" a little bit. Now, don't get me wrong, I know that I am not the most masculine gay man, and nor am I the most feminine of them. But the only way I know how to "gay it down" would be to not open my mouth.
The town gossip stopped by the house the other day. This. Is. CLASSIC. Here came another "tone down the gayness" speech. Before they came over, I was expressly told to not be seen hugging my Chihuahua, use the word "fuck", lay spread eagle on the couch, or have anything on the TV other than Fox News. If you know me, then you know that I literally spend my entire day clutching my Chihuahua Pepe while flipping back and forth on the TV between LOGO, 9-5 starring Dolly Parton, Golden Girls and Will and Grace, screaming the word FUCK and laying spread eagle on the couch in a pair of short shorts with a straw in my mouth drinking a Shirley Temple.
All kidding aside though, this is merely one instance in my everyday life that is beyond hysterical, laugh out loud funny, you can't make this shit up even if you tried scenario that I am always in. And the town gossip didn't end up coming over. Laughter ensued at the ridiculous things I was told I could not do in front of them after their lack of arrival.
From the shenanigans that I get into on my own, to the predicaments that I find myself in at always the most inopportune moments of my life, I am not sure how or why some of these things happen to me. I let it all roll off of my back and smile about it all later.
More craziness to come soon. Trust.
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